


Hold On To Me So I Don’t Lose Myself

by Quiet_x_Riot



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Comfort Sex, Consensual Sex, Consent is key, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Content, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 14:29:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18143420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quiet_x_Riot/pseuds/Quiet_x_Riot
Summary: “It’s fight or flight, day or night, holding on for dear life. This crazy mess lies in our wake. Take a breath, let’s run away. Hold on to me, hold on to me. Hold on to me so I don’t lose myself.”-OR-They had just killed the demon that took over Waverly, now she just needs to feel loved. She needs Nicole.





	Hold On To Me So I Don’t Lose Myself

Nicole knocked gently on the bedroom door, then slowly entered the dimly lit room. From her place in the doorway she could make out the shape of her seemingly asleep girlfriend buried under a mountain of blankets. After they had come in from the barn, Waverly freshly unpossessed, the younger Earp sister had gone upstairs to rest, thinking she wanted to be alone for a while. That had been nearly three hours earlier and Nicole couldn’t stay away anymore, the concern for her love getting to be too much. 

She quietly entered the room, making every effort not to wake her. But Waverly was already awake, paralyzed by fear, sadness, anger, so many emotions that she couldn’t describe her mental state as anything other than lost. She could hear her girlfriend tip-toeing into the room, trying to be quiet, until she faintly whispered, “Will you lay with me for a while?” She didn’t turn around or even move an inch, and neither herself nor Nicole was even sure if she’d meant to ask the question aloud. But the older woman made her way over to the bed anyway and placed a gentle hand on what she assumed to be Waverly’s shoulder under the blankets. 

“Of course, baby. Where would you like me to lay?” Nicole quietly asked, she didn’t want to do anything to stress Waverly out more, she knew she needed to leave the power in her hands. But Waverly had no energy to even move, let alone think. So she just shrugged slightly, barely even noticeable, and Nicole just understood that her girlfriend didn’t need control in that moment, only support. So she gently lifted the covers and slid into the bed facing Waverly, then pulled the smaller girl into her body, relaxing into the embrace when she felt the girls face nuzzle into the crook of her neck. She could feel warm tears slowly flow from the brunettes eyes onto her shoulder, but instead of pointing out the discovery, she just held the woman she loved a little closer to her. Waverly inhaled deeply, letting the familiar scent of her lover overwhelm her senses, until all she could feel, think, or focus on was Nicole. She had begun to slowly rub her hand through Waverly’s hair until she felt her breath slowly even out, signaling the wounded girl had finally fallen asleep, and only then did she allow her own eyes to close and sleep to take her, hoping that when they awoke, life would be just a little bit less painful. 

Nicole had a few different ideas as to how she might have woken up. This definitely was not one of said ideas. 

Soft lips on her neck and wandering hands grasping at her clothes pulled a soft sigh from the redhead’s lips. She opened her eyes to find the sunrise illuminated the room, casting a soft glow across the angel currently laying beside her. Mussed brown hair covered the girls face, and her pajamas were wrinkled and misplaced, but Waverly looked like a dream. She looked like her Waverly again. 

Waverly felt Nicole stir slightly and pushed her hair out of her face to meet the taller woman’s eyes, a relieved smile taking over her face when green eyes smiled back at her. She ran a hand up from its place at the taller woman’s hip to cup a soft cheek and bring their lips together in a gentle kiss that she hoped expressed what she was feeling in that moment. Relief, fear, comfort, acceptance, confusion, all mixed together in a conflicting thunderstorm in her mind, but above all else there was something deep and strong brewing in her heart. Something she was feeling for this woman who would go to the ends of the earth if it meant helping her. This woman who, despite everything, never gave up on her, never let her give up on herself. 

She needed Nicole in that moment, needed to be reminded that they’d done it. They had defeated the demon that meant to kill her, that had taken her hostage inside her own body. She needed to be reminded that she was whole again. So she deepened the kiss, running her tongue along the other woman’s lower lip, requesting entrance, which Nicole happily granted her. Their tongues tangled in a familiar dance. There was no struggle for control or push for dominance between the women, they both just wanted to feel each other, taste each other. 

Waverly pushed herself up to straddle Nicole’s lap, placing her hands under the other woman’s t-shirt, trying to lift it up over her head, but before is could get that far she felt warm hands softly stop her movements. Nicole pulled her self away from the intoxicating kiss, trying to clear her head enough to slow things down. Waverly went unfazed though, just continued kissing the taller woman’s neck as she spoke, “Baby.. wait. Hold on... we should talk first. I need to make sure you’re okay... that your head is in a good place.” 

At that, Waverly pulled away just enough to whisper, “Oh, trust me, my head is in a very naughty place..” and then she continued her attentions on her lover’s neck, running her hands along any skin she could find available to her. They both knew she was trying to deflect, trying to brush off the concern. 

Nicole felt a jolt of white hot desire betray her, shooting straight to her core. She groaned as she attempted to remain in control of herself. It didn’t matter to her how turned on she was, she refused to do anything that might hurt her love. She pushed gently on Waverly’s shoulder as she began to explain, “Waves, I’m serious. Stop for a second.”

The seriousness of Nicole’s voice finally pulled the smaller woman back, and she immediately halted the advances when she heard the word “stop” leave her lips. She started to climb off of Nicole’s lap, but one strong hand held her in place while another reached up to lift her chin so that she was staring into two concerned green eyes. Nicole sat up with Waverly still in her lap, trying to get into a more supportive and connected position. 

“I’m not asking you to leave, I just want to make sure everything’s okay before doing anything you might regret.”

Waverly sighed at that, “I could never regret doing this with you baby. You don’t have to worry about me so much.”

“But I do. I know you, I know that you’ll tell yourself and everyone else that you’re okay and force yourself to move past this without actually healing, but you don’t have to do that with me. It’s my job to make sure you’re okay. I just need you to talk to me in order to do that.” Nicole explained her thought process in the best way she knew how, but she could tell that Waverly still didn’t want to hear what she was saying. 

Because the truth was that Waverly only wanted one thing, “But I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to think. All I want is to feel. I need to feel you Nicole, and only you. I need to feel loved. I need to feel as close as possible to you, my person. This is how I will heal.” She needed to be filled with so much love that there was no room for the darkness that Mikshun had cast inside of her. And that is exactly what she tried to explain to Nicole. 

“Are you sure? You’re sure this is okay?” She asked one last time. 

“Yes. Please, Nicole. I just need you.” She practically whimpered the words and she pressed her forehead against the woman beneath her. 

At those last words, Nicole finally let go of her worry and captured Waverly’s lips in a searing kiss, one hand holding onto the back of her neck, the other helping the smaller girl finish pulling her t-shirt from her torso. They then worked to unbutton the other girl’s own shirt and slid it off her shoulders to cast it aside, leaving both of them bare from the waist up. They both let out sighs of relief when they finally met skin to skin. Waverly rolled her hips into Nicole’s stomach, searching for some kind of contact that she couldn’t quite manage to find. She relished in the feeling of two strong hands running down her sides, and around her back to finally come to their destination on her ass, covered only by a pair of lacy black underwear. 

Nicole pulled away from the kiss and began placing a hot trail of kisses down Waverly’s neck, smiling into the soft flesh when she heard the nearly silent whine that left the girl’s throat. She squeezed and pulled on the girls ass, helping her fall into a rhythm of grinding against her as she tried to get some kind of relief. She could feel a wet spot forming in the center of Waverly’s underwear and couldn’t help the pride that swelled in her chest from knowing she had that effect on this woman. She could practically feel Waverly’s frustration and decided to move things along a little bit, working her hand around and running it up her thigh, hooking her fingers in the waistband of her underwear and just leaving it there. Nicole would usually use this opportunity to tease her lover until she was writhing and pleading for release, but in this moment it was more of a final ‘are you sure’ before things go to a point of no return. They’d had sex once before, but now she wasn’t entirely sure that it was completely real, and she knew they weren’t alone for it. She wasn’t sure how much of it was Waverly and how much was Mikshun. In a certain way this was like the first time all over again and she needed this to be perfect. She needed this to make up for the way the last time had been tainted. But she also wanted to be absolutely certain that Waverly felt safe and sure. She could never forgive herself if she did anything to pressure the girl she loved. 

Waverly on the other hand, was not having it. She couldn’t wait any longer to feel Nicole’s attention where she needed it most. She reached down to grab the girl’s hand, and guided it under the lace, into her heat, letting out a soft, “Please,” as she did so.  
Her breath hitched in her throat as she felt Nicole finally take control, running a finger through her slick heat, finding her clit and starting a beautiful, yet teasing, circling motion around it. Waverly dropped her head back, whimpering at the feeling surrounding her. Her hips began jerking involuntarily when Nicole’s fingers pressed a little harder into the shaft of her clit, skipping over to rub the exposed tip every few seconds. 

“Fuck.. baby, please,” Waverly signed into Nicole’s ear, “more..”

Not wanting to ruin the rhythm they had going, Nicole asked for clarification, “Tell me what you need, sweet girl.”

Consumed by pleasure, Waverly couldn’t find it in herself to form words. She just continued grinding down into Nicole’s hand, trying to find some way to alleviate the pressure that was building inside her. She clung to Nicole like her life depended on it, digging her nails into her back hard enough that Nicole knew there would be marks tomorrow, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was making her Waverly happy, making her feel loved beyond measure. Taking away the pain and filling the voids it left behind with pleasure. But in order to truly do that she needed to know exactly what Waverly needed in that moment, so she leaned her forehead against her lover’s and spoke again, “Baby, look at me,” she said, “Tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you. Whatever it is, I’ll give it to you.”

Too overwhelmed by feelings, both physical and emotional, all Waverly could get out was, “Please, inside baby, please.” Before she could even finishing getting the words out, though, her breath was stollen as Nicole entered her with two glorious fingers, sliding in with ease and stretching her just the right amount. She felt so perfectly full, finally feeling as close as possible to her love. 

Nicole started with a slow but firm motion, curling her fingers inside and applying pressure with her palm outside to hit the most sensitive spots. They built up a rhythm together, rocking in time with each other, Waverly’s arousal dripping down her girlfriend’s hand. The room filled with the sounds heavy breathing and the smaller woman’s moans as Nicole worked her towards her inevitable peak. Nicole began speeding up her movements as she felt the other woman’s walls start to spasm, but came to a sudden halt when she felt Waverly bury her face in her shoulder, hot tears leaking onto her cool skin. 

“Hey..” she breathed out as she lifted her free hand to tilt Waverly’s chin up in order to make eye contact. What she saw broke her heart, and almost forced her to pull her fingers out, but Waverly grabbed her wrist to hold her in place, still rolling her hips ever so slightly. The brown pools showed heartbreak beyond anything Nicole had ever seen. She began to feel sick, immediately assuming that she had caused this pain. But Waverly’s actions seemed to counteract this assumption as she leaned forward to hug the taller woman, grasping onto her like a lifeline. Nicole was beyond confused at this point, feeling more lost than ever. All she could think to do was ask, “Whats wrong? Should I stop?”

“No! No, please don’t!”, This filled Waverly with complete panic. The fear of losing the warmth, the fullness, the closeness was too much for her to handle. “I’m okay, I just don’t want to lose this, is all. I’m just afraid of losing you. I’m afraid of losing myself.”

And then Nicole understood. The fear in Waverly’s eyes was real, but it wasn’t because she was afraid of Nicole. It was because she was afraid of losing Nicole. “Okay. It’s okay baby. I’m right here, I understand.” And she did understand, because she had the same fear about losing Waverly. A fear which almost became a reality. Her love had all control taken from her. A demon had crawled inside Waverly’s mind and forced its way into her thoughts, consumed every open space it could find and tried to force her out of her own body. Waverly had spent weeks trying to fight a demon from taking her very being. Nicole finally understood. 

Waverly could see the concern in Nicole’s eyes give way to understanding. She saw how much this woman cared for her and it made her heart soar. She knew that as long as Nicole held her, she was safe. She was grounded. “Please, Nicole. Please keep going. Just hold on to me. Hold on to me so I don’t lose myself.” 

And that was all Nicole needed. She picked up right where she left off, giving Waverly all she had, doing as much as she could to make her love okay again. To make her feel loved, cared for. She set an incredible pace, moving in and out of Waverly in a way that she knew would have her reaching her peak in minutes, and the beautiful angel on top of her met every thrust with enthusiasm, rocking in her lap like she’d never seen before, moaning louder with every curl of her fingers. Listened to the slick sounds as Nicole made love to her like she couldn’t breathe without it. Waverly caught her lips in a deep kiss that she hoped expressed everything she couldn’t say. She could feel her orgasm tumbling towards her as she moaned into Nicole’s mouth every time her fingers bottomed out inside of her. 

When she had to finally pull away from the kiss in order to breathe, Nicole tightened her hold on Waverly and leaned into her ear to reassure her the only way she knew how. 

“You can let go baby, I’ve got you. Come for me, Waverly.”

And she did. Her climax washed over her in a wave so strong she lost all ability to think, to feel anything other than her lover, the fingers buried deep inside her, the lips on her neck. She came screaming Nicole’s name, every muscle in her body tensing in the best way, back arched, legs shaking. She couldn’t find the ability to care that she probably woke her sister, and whoever else may have been in the house. All she knew was pleasure. Her inner walls clamped down so hard that Nicole swore she’d have to stay inside of her forever, and she was more than happy to live with that fate. She continued to move inside of Waverly as she came, helping her to ride out the waves for as long as she could, making her hips rock and twitch everytime she hit that special spot just right. 

Waverly didn’t even notice that Nicole had laid them down at first, too overwhelmed by the aftershocks that still continued to roll through her every few second. When she finally got a bit of strength back, she pushed up onto her elbows to reach Nicole’s lips, placing a soft kiss on them before she lost the strength to continue holding herself up and she settled down onto her girlfriend’s chest. She shuddered as she felt Nicole pull her fingers out of her, missing the fullness instantly. 

Nicole was the first to break the silence. “That was amazing”, she said, “I think that was the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Actually no, that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Waverly just blushed and buried her smile into the shoulder beneath her. She whispered something to Nicole but it was too muffled to be coherent. 

“What was that?” Nicole asked with a playful smirk. 

Waverly looked up at her, eyes wide and beautiful, with the most content smile Nicole had ever seen on her face. They just sat there staring into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity, even though it was only a couple seconds. The intensity between them gave Nicole butterflies, like something big was coming, something amazing. The playfulness slowly melted off of Waverly’s face, giving way to an even deeper and more serious look. She opened her mouth to speak a few times before the words finally came out in a near silent whisper, though they hit Nicole like an earthquake, shifting the very ground beneath her with the weight they held. 

“I love you, Nicole Haught.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, let me know what you think! The song that this was inspired by is called “Hold onto Me (feat. Aviella)” by Aash Mehta. Also I edited it on my own so let me know if you find any errors and I’ll fix them.


End file.
